Sunday, January 17, 2010

Still Alive

Well, I'm two weeks into my new job and I'm doing okay! Better than okay, in fact. I'm actually really happy. Happier than I've been in a long time.

I have a lot of advantages at my new school. I have a big, beautiful classroom stocked with all the latest teaching technology. I have three periods of very intelligent advanced students that are eager to please. I'm surrounded by master teachers that are very nice and very helpful. With all these things on my side, it's no wonder I'm doing well. I have my difficulties, and the first year of teaching is always very challenging, but I've hit the ground running and I feel like I have everything under control.

My miserable year of subbing gave me invaluable experience in crowd control. My classroom management is very good. I have some difficult classes of average kids, and while I don't have their behavior exactly where I want it yet, they aren't out of control by any means.

The reality of all this hasn't hit me yet. I'm still afraid that I'm going to wake up and find out that this was all a dream. I can't believe I landed in such a wonderful position at such a wonderful school. I can't believe I'm doing as well as I am. It turns out that I wasn't wrong to go into teaching after all. All my doubts about the profession are falling away. I'm suddenly confident about everything. I'm not perfect at this job yet, but I'm learning more everyday and I know that I can be great in this career as I gain more experience.

It's really nice to feel like myself again. I haven't felt ambitious or motivated in a long time. It's just crazy how good I feel right now! I realize I sound like a complete sap and I don't even care. I didn't even understand how sad and depressed I was before I got this job. I'm so happy right now that I don't even know that girl who was so hopeless only a few months ago.

Of course, my knitting has taken a backseat as I have started working. I've managed a few more repeats each on my Citron and my second February Lady Sweater over the last two weeks, but that's all I've managed to accomplish. I really enjoy knitting both patterns, so I keep switching from one to the other. I need to hunker down and make real progress on one though - probably the sweater. Once I get a good rhythm going with my lesson plans and grading I'll get back into crafting a little each day. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't let my job completely take over my life and I plan to keep it.

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