Thursday, September 24, 2009

Another Report from the Field

Well, here I am again. I'm sitting in another middle school classroom on my lunch break blogging about the little cretins. I've only gone through 2 of the 6 classes I will teach today and I have already written an office referral and caught 2 kids cheating. I can only imagine how fun and exciting the rest of the day will be.

I'm proctoring a standardized test in a math classroom today. With the type of kids this teacher has, that ain't easy. There are three main obstacles in my way.

1. This is a standardized test, so I have to enforce complete silence.
2. Nobody brought a pencil to school today.
3. These kids are raving lunatics.

It's really tough to try and get kids to be completely quiet. I usually allow a low level of talking while I'm working a job because it's nearly impossible to get silence. The nature of their assignment today, however, necessitates a quiet atmosphere. I have had to threaten more kids than I can count with referrals and I'm not even half done with the day. I'm doing it though! I have to be a complete and total bitch, but I'm getting silence. Go me!

The pencil issue is my biggest problem. Perhaps you all didn't know this, but no one brings school supplies to school anymore. Kids show up with no backpack, no books, no paper and no writing utensils then proceed to act like entitled little snots that deserve to have their teacher provide these things for them. They look at you like it's your problem that they aren't prepared. I have had to waste about ten minutes at the beginning of each period letting the kids with no pencils go around and find someone to borrow from. Then they all have to sharpen those pencils, which they do as loudly as possible. Ugh. It's a serious distraction and I have no way to fix it. The teacher didn't leave me extra pencils (he really shouldn't have to, so I'm not complaining), and the kids have to be able to take this test. It's county mandated so I can't let them sit there doing nothing if I can help it. It's not like they're capable of sitting and doing nothing anyway. The havoc that a bored child can wreak is unparalled thoughout the galaxy. They all NEED to be working or they will be making trouble.

The last obstacle goes without saying. These kids are underachieving and nuts to boot. A great teacher can help kids like this to grow. A substitute can only hope to keep them from hurting themselves or others during the class period.

Well, back into the breach once more I suppose. I can't wait to be back at home, sitting with a cup of tea and watching Dancing with the Stars on my DVR. Four and a half more hours, four and a half more hours . . .

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